“If we do not risk anything, we risk everything.”

From “Living Simultaneously”, by Jeff Patnaude

This past week, my two associates assisted me in guiding the team mentioned in a previous blog to discover what Leo Tolstoy said eight decades ago, “All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”

On day two, we began by reflecting upon what was learned on day one and who/what was the teacher. One participant commented that he was “furious with me.” After I encouraged him to say more he announced that until yesterday he was prepared to quit this team and leave his job altogether. The reason he changed his mind was that “I made him fall in love with his teammates again.” He was angry he couldn’t proceed with his original plan as he was called back, due to love.

Another said he had been unable to sleep all night because the experience of the first day was “working him.” He too, now was ready to re-commit to the team and their daunting list of projects with a new energy. In the end, we discovered others ready to leave the team and two ready to move to another position. While the two will move to another role, all three decided to stay on and do the work necessary to build the trust for the relationships necessary to complete their assigned goals. I attribute most of this activity to the power of love.

I am not shy about challenging people to love each other. Why not love? It doesn’t mean you have to like them – just love them. After all, we spend more time with these people then we do with our families. Creating an atmosphere of love and practicing open, honest and direct communication sometimes is the key factor for transformation.

It was the monastic and spiritual teacher Thomas Aquinas who taught the 5 Stages to Love:

1. Romance – this formative stage is one of energy, chemical highs and the belief that everything is possible.

2. Disillusionment – it doesn’t take long to grasp the reality that she “sleeps on MY side of the bed.”

3. Choice – Time to make a decision, either on to # 4 or back to # 1 – most choose # 1 because we are Romance addicts.

4. WORK – this is the hard part – we actually have to work at our relationships, give up some of our territory, adjust our boundaries and trust the people next to us.

5. Love – The culmination of the four steps – the prize – the gift – the achievement – the foundation of all else that will come – like getting to work!

Last week I wrote about the Number 10 so it only seems fitting that this week should be about the number 11. So on November 1, 2011 here is my take on 11-1-11.

Eleven:
I was eleven years old when I began my shadow life – pool hustler making about $100.00 per weekend and smoking two packs of Pall Mall cigarettes (filter less) per day and could have been considered a bit of a “Hood.” I loved girls a lot and also ran my first business at a considerable profit so my path seemed clear. The exception was that I served at the Altar each week as an Altar Boy and little did I know that my sinful and lecherous life was headed for the Priesthood by the age of 24. Oh well, early days of street wisdom might make for better priests.

One:
Being Number One was always the team pursuit in High School where I quarterbacked an undefeated team to a conference championship. Our track team won the sectionals seven years in a row and our collective teams won 5 championships in my senior year of high school.

Eleven:
Back to eleven again – I can’t think of anything so I will just move on to the theme of 11-1-11.

This is the day we are starting the campaign for training 11,111 Transformational Leaders over the next seven years. That’s seems doable averaging 1587 participants per year. We are off to a slow start since I have time to sit here today and write this blog but we are confident. With all our varied programs in communication, emotional intelligence, our various leadership programs and our HUMANagement programs for managers, we should make a dent in this lofty goal.

Twelve
But the Ace in the Hole is The Eagle’s Seminar. (Each Ascends to Greatness in Leadership through Exemplary Service.) It is a “Pay-it-Forward” program for developing thousands of much needed Mentors for helping employ our jobless veterans, for assisting college students in their development, at risk kids in the 8th grade or even assisting a developing program in Afghanistan. Whoever is the recipient, each Eagle has a team of 12 with them. We will train teams of 12 Eagles at a time which, if you do the math equals 156 participants (12x’s 13). If we offer two programs per month, that equals 3,744 mentors per year. But it does not stop there. Each of those mentors will be responsible for guiding 7 Mentees – that equals 26,208 people touched by the program in just one year. Multiply that times seven years and you get …well you know, the “bigger picture.” We hope to make it – and then some.

David Letterman uses it, we all have tried to achieve it, and we have learned from Abraham Maslow, that not even 10 % of the population makes it into the realm of true consciousness.

Forbes Magazine also embraces the number indicated by two recent articles:
The Ten Most Hated Jobs (August 11, 2011)
The Ten Happiest Jobs (September 11, 2011)

I was happy to discover that I do five of the ten happiest jobs. Of course, I kind of knew that because I am so happy in my work since all the dimensions of what I do fulfill my purpose, are based on what I value and believe and contribute to a legacy that I will leave behind. But what disturbs me about The Ten Most Hated Jobs is that they are hated because of various contributions from upper management which makes them so:

Nepotism, cronyism, disrespect, lack of direction, incoherent communication, uncaring

I have used the phrase for years “Higher means lonelier” which has proven to be true in my dealing with executives for whom I was the only person (they thought) with whom they could confide. But perhaps, after reading the report about the destructive and chaotic behavior from above that is contributing to jobs being hated, the phrase should be:
“Higher means loonier”

I have great respect for most of the leaders with whom I have worked and if they leaned toward some of the narcissistic tendencies described above, they were soon corrected or I was no longer a part of the picture. But instead of blasting the “Ego’s insatiable appetite for more” or the “Need for control because your own life is out of control” tirade, let me instead point out what contributes to making the Happiest Jobs an expression of joy:

1. 1. Helping others and giving without expectation of reward.
   (Clergy, Firefighters, Counselors, Physical Therapists)
2. 2. Teaching (from the Latin word meaning to draw out)
   (Teachers, Special Education Teachers, Authors)
3. 3. A lack of concern about a high income – all but one of the jobs ranks in the lower income range.
4. 4. An opportunity to “play” with toys
   (Artist, Heavy Equipment Operator)

I hope that your job becomes your work and that you too find happiness in what you spend most of your time doing.

I rarely make political comments – I seldom watch local news –and I would not run for public office. I find that quietly volunteering is my best way to serve others. However, I can’t help myself from making comments occasionally about the extraordinary behavior of this race that we refer to as human. And from a leadership perspective, something is clearly wrong – and that would be the Carnival Congress that is supposed to be representing the people of America.

This foolish political and debilitating posturing is not a new behavior. My great Grandfather, several generations removed, was Robert Morris, the Financier of the American Revolution and the most successful entrepreneur of early America. Because of his ability in trade and his visionary leadership, he begrudgingly was called into service too many times to assist the fledgling congress. As first chairperson of the revolutionary organizers and a signer of both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, he also was Washington’s premier ally. “Grandfather”, exasperated by the congress’s inability to make a decision about whether or not to send money for rescuing the starving and desperate troops in Valley Forge, sent his own money and supplies repeatedly. When there was no gunpowder, he found it in Europe and smuggled past the British Blockade to send to the troops what they needed. After exhausting most of his fortune in support of the American effort (an admittedly some material pleasures), he ended up in debtor’s prison –uncompensated and unrecognized.

My recommendation to the current fledgling and bumbling Congress, is to empty their palatial offices, say goodbye to their network of cronies, cash in their unique benefits package and make way for a new Congress – a Conscription Congress – a body of leadership that goes to Washington for a four year only commitment to use their visionary capacity and leadership skills for bringing about resolutions to the problems facing the nation.

With no air of entitlement, no constituency, and no need for political gaming, this new Congress would be conscripted from a pool of emotionally intelligent and leadership qualified volunteers willing to serve. I have at least 50 Baby Boomer clients and friends, retired CEO’s and successful entrepreneurs who would welcome such an opportunity to lead. Chosen from a lottery of tens of thousands of potential leaders, America could come racing back and these real and untethered problem solvers would have fun doing it.

I welcome your thoughts for continuing the tradition of sending much needed help to Washington – with a promise of no debtor’s prison as your reward.

There are two sides to the coin of that phrase. I can still hear my mother, in a deep and dramatic sigh saying:  What’s next?” –fully expecting the “sky to fall” or the “shoe to drop.”  On the other side, was a counter voice from within an emerging optimist, fully expecting just another exciting possibility when exclaiming, “What’s next!”

When we hear the calculation that if the government starting paying off its debt now at 100 million per day, without spending another cent and that it would take 389 years to accomplish, we are tempted to ask: “What’s next?”

When we hear that we have not yet even begun the real tornado season or that we didn’t have flood insurance, we might ask: “What’s next?”

Job had the same issue. Boils, family dying, cattle dead yet instead he asked:  “Is that your best shot?” or in other words:  What’s next!

As Rocky Balboa would say:  “Is that all you got?  When pushed to the edge, can we ask the same? Of course we can – if we are resilient enough based on belief – belief in self and belief in the reality that we are not alone.  “What’s Next?” need not be a lament – instead, it is also a question of invitation. It does not have to be the moan of a frightened soul – instead it can be a question of the intrigued adventurer who seeks the next level of investigation.

I have put aside some of my regular classes this Fall in order to offer a very affordable, two day experience at our farm center in Virginia for those who are asking this question. When some of my client companies are terminating many of their employees, I believe it is a time to reach out to those who may be afraid of “What’s next?” and instead reinterpret the invitation.  The instrumentation we use (The Judgment Index) gives a remarkable accounting of where you are and suggests where you could be. “What’s next?” is a marvelous opportunity to stop doing a job and start doing your work. It is a time to follow your passion and believe in the opportunity.

I had the good fortune of being a friend of the great poet, John O’Donohue. Here are his words for you.

“Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.”

For more information on the two day “What’s Next?” Seminar click here. For dates and availability, please call (540) 270-6825

That saying was given to me many years ago by one of my mentors and here it is in its entirety: “Work as if there is no such thing as prayer and pray as if there is no such thing as work.”

You may not be the prayerful type but in times like these (13,000 employees of one of my clients are being laid off), many fall to their knees in times of what feels like desperation. The real benefit to “Lean Management” is that it motivates us to:

• Determine what really matters
• Do more with less
• Stop the glut of consumption
• Start a visioning process of Ideation and…
• Decide, when enough, is enough?

My work is not immune from the predicted “double dip” effect and Greece is not the only one with financial challenges. My companies have seen a cut in services by 30% in the last two months. The Stock Market is spiraling downward, national debt is increasing every minute and there seems to be little leadership to change the direction. So what do we do? Work as if there is no such thing as prayer – And pray as if there is no such thing as work in order to tap our inner resourcefulness that is so much more than just having resources.

Work, for me, is at the least, my art (more than that if you read earlier blogs). So I get to do my art every day. Movement is the rule of the Universe so we must keep on moving, creating, connecting and conceiving – doing what is natural in the Quantum world. Prayer for me, is not an event, it is a state of being. Putting the two together is a great combination – with marvelous outcomes. So pray, or work, or better yet, pray and work. Miracles may happen.

I have served as some sort of counselor for most of my life. My sisters sought my advice, my mother depended on wisdom from me and entering the priesthood at the age of 24 didn’t help. Then advice, wisdom, counsel, guidance etc. was expected. Besides (they said), now you were “paid” to do it.

It becomes, therefore a natural and cultural inclination to seek out someone’s advice. “Can I ask you something?”- “Do you have a moment?” usually are invitations to help someone with a concern of theirs and to be the source of some solution. I am a champion of Mentoring and by serving as an Executive Coach, I take the role of coaching very seriously. But what I don’t need to do with my clients or mentees is “solve their problems.” The Art of Questioning plays an enormous role in self- help and allowing the other to arrive at their own resolution is “teaching someone how to fish.”

However, there is another step that could just put me “out of business.” That is – “keep your own counsel.” When we face a problem to solve or a life dilemma to sort out, we will always have bottom feeders telling us what to do with our lives. These people, according to my partner Susan, “talk out of their butts” – an indication as to the quality and fragrance of the wisdom so freely offered. If you hear an unsolicited, “You know what you ought to do…?” excuse yourself and leave through the back door. Then there are those who defend you at all costs and criticize anything or anyone that challenges you. That is not helpful either as we often find that the biggest problem we face in solving our problem, is ourselves.

So I suggest, before calling in the troops of wisdom givers, seek the counsel that already lives within your own emotional intelligence – in the limbic brain that has stored the emotional memory for reference, the gut that can tell you if you are headed in the right direction and of course, the brilliant heart that already knows what you seek to know. Sit quietly, be patient, imagine two different resolutions, note the feeling that comes with each of the resolutions and follow the one the most closely resembles peace or joy. That is a sign of wisdom – and you save yourself the confusion that comes with Free Advice.

Ten years ago I left the heart of Silicon Valley and “bought the farm” – figuratively that is, when I purchased a 200 acre property in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia. It certainly was a dramatic change from the hustle of Palo Alto, CA. moving to the quietude of a mountain top experience, but I have grown to deeply love the beauty of this place and my reconnection with the Earth upon which we all dwell. But when I tell people I live on a farm, they inevitably ask me: “What do you grow?”

Over the past month I have given seven Keynote addresses and flown on too many airlines yet whether on an airplane (where I always say:“I’m just a farmer” in my attempt to disappear into my seat) or after a speech in Q & A when “the Farm” is inevitably mentioned, “What do you grow” is always asked. I love to respond, “GRASS” (we mow 70 acres of lawn) – I sometimes say Lavender and Apples because that is true with 65 Lavender plants and 22 apple trees – but the truest answer came to me last night on a return trip from San Francisco – I don’t grow anything – instead, I plant seeds and become a caretaker of anything that takes root.

Whenever a speaker speaks, rarely do we know what or if the audience is receiving. Certainly the note taker or the head nod gives some indication that something is happening, but the reality is … You really don’t know. What I have discovered is this…That is okay. It is my work to plant seeds, through ideas and new perspectives, and let the seeds do THEIR work. If the seed falls upon rocky ground (many got up and left in the middle of my last talk) so be it –If the seed connects with an embrace that will only last from the chair to the parking lot, then it may not mature further. But if the seed falls upon just one fertile area and takes root in the mind and heart of the few, then “The Farmer” has done the first part of the work. The next step would be the care and feeding of the seed that now reaches upward for more. That is where the second part of farming comes in. But making it grow is not possible. That is left to the natural forces – the way of birth, death and rebirth – that part is a mystery that no farmer can manipulate. It is just “the way it is.” What a relief. I like my part and I am going to keep it that way.

My staff and I just returned from the graduation of 40 Cisco System’s High Potentials who graduated from their Leadership in Action program , designed and facilitated by The Patnaude Group Inc. It is now one of our Vital/Virtual programs that starts and ends with an “In-person” day (Vital) and the 6 leadership lessons taught virtually (Virtual). It was more successful than I would have imagined, having a strong preference for the “Old Way” – in person training (Transformational Leadership). At the graduation dinner event however, I was stunned by the testimonials made by all 40 participants and their group of 7 Cisco mentors who shepherded their progress. Everyone spoke of their transformation – the living out of their values and the recognition of their contribution to the legacy that they will leave behind.

“What we love, we live.” It is a natural process to be directed toward our passions. These are the motivators that we feel most deeply and have their way of moving us toward behavior associated with that powerful, driving force. If we love our family, we will not lose our lives in the workplace. If we have a passion for health, we will not sacrifice our well-being for a higher quota. Ultimately, passion will redirect us even if we have gone way off course as love is one of the greatest powers we discover along our journey. For these 47 participants, it was not too late – but perhaps, just in time.

“What we believe, we leave.” An even deeper motivator for me is what I believe. Although love is profound in its ability to change our lives, our belief system is the representation of our truest nature. I believe in the possibilities of chaos. I believe in an unlimited storehouse of creativity and ideation. I believe in the inherent goodness of the soul. I believe that the workplace can be a celebration of our Art and where we actually grow and become better from the work that embraces most of our lives. I also believe in the power of forgiveness, the healing unction from laughter and dancing and in the transformative energy of being touched and in the touching of others. For me also, I believe that my work is not just my art, but my Work is my Worship. My legacy will be more than what I love, it will be what I have believed. May that be yours also.

I happen to live only twenty miles from one of America’s most acclaimed restaurants in the world, The Inn at Little Washington. While their food is superior to what most of us swallow in our normal routine, that is not what distinguishes them from the rest of the competition. They achieve their global recognition by “Taking the Measure of the Mood” (Harvard Business Review).

In the past century, an employee’s performance had been established to be directly related to the employee’s motivation and by providing them a “motive” to achieve. Frederick Taylor, in his work, The Science of Management (1911), and Henry Gantt’s Work, Wages, and Profits (1913), long ago suggested that in order for employees to achieve excellence, there must be a motive. Taylor and Gantt said that it was essentially money, but Abraham Maslow (1943) determined that the need to survive through financial compensation, to make friends, to feel secure and to believe one was making an important contribution to society were the most important motivators.

Since the contributions of the afore mentioned pioneers, it has been proven each decade since the 1950’s that the most important and significant factor (50%-65%) that contributes to a successful work environment, is THE BEHAVIOR OF THE MANAGER.

“Taking the Measure of Mood” was an interesting review of how the wait staff of The Inn is successful at caring for the customer in every way and even measuring their on-going success on a 1-10 scale. By being trained on eye contact, emotional intelligence and the ability to sense tension at the table, who is the power person, who does not want to engage and who needs to vent, this staff is challenged to do what every corporate manager must do daily: manage a climate where people can be well and do well.

What the article did not unveil was the most important element – the behavior of Chef Patrick O.Connell. In order for him to expect such behavior from his staff, he must “walk the talk” each moment. There must be No Hell’s Kitchen at that location as the leader must exemplify all that which he expects from those who serve – him, the customer and the reputation. And if he decides to have a bad day, guess who else does – 50%-60% of his staff – which means ultimately, you and me.

If you don’t think your behavior makes a difference, try stopping your car in the middle of the freeway in rush hour traffic. You will see quickly how you can affect the lives of thousands within minutes, or, just try having a bad attitude with your employees.

The only thing on the menu will be Sauerbraten.